Saturday, June 24, 2006

Drive-by Microchipping

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Web, Fellow Felines, Canines, Bunnies and Rats,

Hear my story and be prepared. Vicious gangs may be operating in your neighborhood waiting to kidnap and brand you forever as one of their own. No neighborhood is too "good". You are not safe anywhere. This could happen to you. This IS our true story:

Saturday morning, Blackie and I are just hanging loose, watching a little KittyTV when the next thing we know, we are brutally kidnapped by vicious gang members, shoved into tiny cramped cages,

and shanghaied into this hot noisy red thing that smelled of coffee, gasoline and, worse, wet dog. Strains of country music attempted to drown our screams and cries for help. It was not successful.


I AM not happy!

It gets worse from here ... we're driven for maybe five minutes then transported roughly into another building. We are then pulled from our cages and tortured to reveal our personal information which we can hear being entered into a computer in the background. Then IT happens. We feel the sting of the needle. We here them say "it's in" and your information will be linked to the central computer available no matter where are. We are forever linked to this brutal gang.

We reenter our cages and once again enter that smelly red thing. Shamed and demoralized by this entire process, we wonder, how can this gang be operating in our "safe suburban neighborhood". Wouldn't the neighbors get suspicious? Wouldn't someone call the sheriff? Then we see THE SIGN. They are openly recruiting right next to the proverbial Saturday morning garage sales.


Crushed by this revelation, we find little comfort to return to what we formerly regarded as "our" safe house. We are permanently changed knowing that if disaster strikes and we end up in a "shelter", we can NOW be identified. Our privacy is lost forever.

Total strangers, who previously would assume we were a couple of scruffy strays, would NOW know without doubt that there was this group of people frantically searching for us; miserable without us, loosing sleep until they could but return us home and love us and pet us and play with us and feed us tuna entree. How HORRIBLE is that?

Uh, well, ok, uh, maybe this whole thing isn't so bad after all?

Nevermind.

--
Charlie

16 comments:

Hot(M)BC said...

You mean the bad gang isn't so bad? That's good! Uncle Roman plays with chips, but they're big so I don't think they're microchips. I've never seen him stick them in a stabby thing neither.
~~ Sanjee

Sanjee, those are poker chips that Uncle Roman plays with. He must poke somebody with them, even if you're never seen him stick them in a stabby thing.
~~ Boni

It's good somebody loves you and wants to find you if you're lost.
~~ Mini

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Well the chip is good, the rest of the story about the cat wrangling is nasty. We hate those carriers too.

Derby said...

Microchips are good, they gets you back with your beans. All kitties and woofies should have them.

Beau Beau & Angie said...

Ohhhh did it hurt to get that chippy stucked in you? Can someone find you anywhere you goes? That sounded like a scary adventure. We hate the car and screech alla way to the v.e.t. efurrytime we haf to go. Mommy plays screechy music too to try to drown us out.

William said...

The only kind of chips I like are Doritos. Did they have those?

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

We've all be microchipped, except for George 'cause they didn't do it when he was a kitten. So now if we're lost, someone can know who we are. It's a good thing.

Zeus said...

Isis and I have still managed to elude the Microchip Shang-hai Gang. I don't know for how much longer though we can hold out...

Luna said...

I haven´t microchip!! Meow! =^^=

Timmy said...

This was most disturbing to read until you tolded us it isn't so bad afterall... I was a'scared for y'all with that gang but it sounds like they loves you very very much!

Momma wants to get a microchip for me, but it am a'spensive! At least up here it is...I wonder if our aminal clinic would have a microchip day???

Ayla said...

Ya the Mom wants to microchip us as well in case of an emergency (none of us are stupid enough to try to actually go outside...well...maybe Loki...). It's too expensive though especially since there are nine of us and the Dad just got laid off. :(

lambj said...

Oh, the horror! The extremes feines have to go to just to avoid loosing their humans. We can't let them stray!

Victor Tabbycat said...

I like chips. Mom wants to do that to me sumtime, but our nice vet lady said not to do Bonnie until she's bein knocked out fur sumfing else cuz Bonnie has "no scruff." Actually, she meant Bonnie's... a little ofur weight... and it would hurt to put that big needle in her neckie. I trust Mom wif whatefur she decides, but Bonnie would fight it all the way.

Patches & Mittens said...

Mittens and I have the chips. It didn't even hurt when they put it in, it is the size of a piece of rice. If it gives momma piece of mind, I guess it is worth it.

Patches Lady

one of us said...

OMG you were kidnapped? And your 'beans didn't do anything? Did you bite them when you got home? We are chipped too and the loss of privacy is irredeemable, but Mom says it helps keep us safe incase we get outside. ~Merlin, Shadow, Ko KO

DEBRA said...

My Momma has been thinkin' about doing the chip thingie. It is $45 per poodin... it would be a good thing if (*GASP) we were to get lost somehow becuz my Momma would go nuts crazy beserk if she were to loose one of us...especially me!
LOL

*ABBY

Zeus said...

I just wanted to let you all know that I am working fervently on the report of our adventure together, but it has been so busy at my house the last few days that I have not truly been able to settle in to write it fully. It should be up by this evening or tomorrow morning! I'm sorry for the delay!